When a patient relapses during treatment for a substance use disorder, it can be difficult for the individual and those in their support circle. In fact, between 40 and 60 percent of people suffering from addiction relapse in recovery. Family members, friends, and therapists all know relapse is possible, but what can they do to help once it has occurred? Ultimately, the individual who relapses will need to continue to maximize treatment resources and tools on their own, but here are some recommendations for how you can help. If you’re wondering what to say to someone who relapsed or what to do when someone relapses, read these important tips.
What to Say After a Relapse
It's time to get your loved one back on track. You can't help them if you don't understand the emotions that are flooding you right now. All of your feelings are valid — let them out in healthy ways without taking them out on yourself or others. Once the emotions around your loved one's alcohol or drug relapse feel less raw and intense, try speaking with them. Use “I” statements to convey your concerns in a non-judgmental tone.
For example, refrain from saying accusatory statements:
Do you even care about me? You’re hurting yourself and our family.
What is wrong with you? Why can’t you just stop for us?
You were doing so well in recovery. You ruined everything now.
Instead, use "I" statements:
I'm sad and frustrated to hear that you relapsed. I worry about what this means to you and our family. I also struggle with not knowing how to help you best.
I understand that relapse sometimes occurs as part of recovery because it’s a chronic disease. How can I help you?
I want to support you and help you find the best way forward together. Let's work on relapse prevention skills so that you're better prepared with healthy coping skills next time.
What to Do When a Loved One Relapses
Everyone’s experience with relapse is different. People relapse for a variety of reasons that include emotional disturbances, relationship issues, or circumstances at work. If you feel the urge to help your loved one, try a few of these ideas.
Be proactive. If they are about to use, connect them to services that help them stay sober and get treatment.
Be patient. Practice patience instead of enforcing your will on their process.
Stay in the moment. The person needs the support, not admonishments for past occurrences. Focus on the situation at hand.
Be willing to reevaluate. Your loved one may have to reevaluate their treatment plan. She or he may need additional professional help to maintain their sobriety. Relapses often signal a call for further help.
Plan to listen. Set a time that’s comfortable for both of you to chat. Ask how they feel and listen. Listening can help them process what’s happened and process how to deal with it.
Get support from friends and family. Reach out to other family members and friends for more support.
Take care of yourself. Practice self-care and set boundaries. If you are not well, then you cannot support your loved one effectively.
Learn more about their treatment plan. It may be beneficial to have a meeting with their treatment team. Ask questions. To understand the details of the relapse and what led to it, ask as many questions as you can. Learn as much as you can about their treatment plan.
Encourage Them to Get Help
Asking for help can be one of the biggest challenges a person suffering from addiction faces when it comes to getting back on the path to recovery. Often they are facing feelings of shame and regret for what they did, which can fuel the desire to use even more. Giving them permission to ask for help can open the door to more support.
If a family member or loved one wants to recover, they have to continue to find resources that will support their efforts. Fortunately, there are many resources available for people who want to recover from a relapse. They include individual counseling, peer support groups, treatment centers, and self-help plans.
If you know someone who is struggling with addiction recovery, encourage them to talk to their doctor about the available treatment programs. Addiction recovery is a complicated process that is affected by many factors, including family involvement and social supports. Family therapy is an important part of an effective recovery plan, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA).
Helping an individual who has relapsed is not a matter of keeping score; instead, it’s a matter of supporting them with compassion and a sense of safety in their recovery. The person who has relapsed needs to feel comfortable telling you what they need. Listen and try to offer words of encouragement and take the emotion out of it. The best treatment option for you and your loved one will depend on the nature of their addiction. Residential treatment, support groups, psychotherapy, and medication all offer a range of options for you to consider. We, at Monte Cristo, understand what you're going through. We can help them bounce back from this relapse. Call us today at (714) 824-9896. Our 24/7 on-call doctors specialize in addiction medicine to meet your loved one’s detox needs. We specialize in detoxification from opiates, benzodiazepines, alcohol, polysubstance abuse, and other substances. Let us help you along the journey of recovery.