Social isolation during the pandemic pushed the issue of loneliness into the social conscience. Loneliness is not a new or uncommon concept, but researchers recently discovered how many people experienced loneliness from self-isolation following Coronavirus (COVID-19). One of the most surprising findings was that men can struggle with loneliness more than women.
Many men have limited social circles and lack essential support systems as a result. Without a solid foundation, some may find comfort or strength in alcohol or drugs without a solid foundation.
Why Am I Lonely?
Whether an individual is an introvert or an extrovert, they thrive when they have purposeful relationships with individuals and the community. The self-isolation regulations during COVID-19 highlighted what happens when a person does not have interactions with people. A lack of connection with others leads to feelings of isolation and depression.
Social isolation from pandemic regulations is not the only cause of loneliness. One can self-isolate due to life-altering events. A few examples of such events include the following:
Death of a friend, partner, or family member: If an individual has lost a loved one, the urge to isolate themselves from others is a normal reaction. This does not necessarily have to be a recent death either. The loss of a loved one can be felt through emotional highs and lows at any point in a person's life.
Mental health: Intense emotions like depression, low self-esteem, and anxiety are either the cause or the result of loneliness.
Living Environment: One's demographics, like where one lives, matters. If a person lives in a remote area, they are at risk of loneliness because their interactions with others are limited.
Social media is another source of loneliness. A person may look at their friend lists or followers and think they have a lot of friends, but how many of those people do they interact with in person regularly?
Loneliness and Society
Loneliness is systemic of how modern society emphasizes being an individual. Men are especially vulnerable to society's expectation of strength, individualism, independence, or suppression of feelings. When people do not have a healthy outlet for their emotions, they refrain from sharing their feelings and bottle them inside. The inability to communicate and interact with others who can provide emotional support puts women and men in difficult situations.
When an individual feels lonely, they may tend to fall inward, increasing their feeling of isolation. Women and men who feel isolated or lonely spend more time on their own and can lose meaningful connections with others. The lack of social skills deepens their urge to self-isolate and can escalate feelings of depression or anxiety. This intertwining of loneliness with depression or anxiety is often difficult to determine which started first.
The Loneliness and Addiction Link
Loneliness stems from negative feelings like depression, low self-esteem, or anxiety. Many find alternative ways to help cope with their mental health disorders.
When an individual is a substance user, they self-medicate. Whether they prefer to consume substances alone or with others, the purpose is to dampen their feelings of self-doubt, depression, or anxiety. Substances may seem like the solution to conceal harmful emotions, but those feelings only come flooding back after the initial effects wear off.
Loneliness and Men
During childhood, boys form positive, healthy relationships with others. However, as they grow older, many replace meaningful relationships with money, power, or success. They derive their pleasure from objects rather than people.
Most men in heterosexual relationships form friendships with others through their significant other. Women are more likely to handle social interactions between peers and their children. Throughout a woman's life, they are encouraged to form and maintain social connections in school, sports, and other activities. Therefore, women often take the lead when it comes to organizing and attending social gatherings. If a man loses their significant other for any reason, they may not know how to form meaningful connections afterward, leading to feelings of isolation.
Compared to women, men have higher rates of substance use disorders (SUDs) and overdoses. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), almost half of those with a SUD also have a mental health disorder, like depression. The report also found men have a higher rate of suicide than women. This is why seeking treatment for any underlying mental health disorders and addiction is critical.
Tips for Combatting Loneliness
When feeling lonely, there are ways to prevent harmful thoughts or behaviors, such as:
Removing objects or situations from one's life that increases their risk of loneliness.
Reaching out to trusted loved ones for support.
Finding healthy alternatives to harmful behaviors.
Social isolation, even before COVID-19 regulations, is a leading cause of loneliness today. People need personal and communal relationships to help fight off loneliness. Several factors cause loneliness, like depression, losing a loved one, or addiction. Men are especially vulnerable to feelings of loneliness and substance use disorder because of their role in society. After men finish school, their emphasis in life is more focused on material success instead of on building personal relationships. Men can struggle to make connections and have limited outlets because of social stigma. Additionally, if they lose their significant other, they may become more isolated, leading to negative thoughts; this leads some men to turn to alcohol or drugs to cope. Monte Cristo Recovery provides a detoxification program in Santa Ana that guides men to understand their addiction. Our mission is to help men build the foundation necessary to address their reliance on substances. Call us to learn more about our program at (714) 824-9896.