Coping with a child's alcohol abuse is difficult. When a child has a problem, you want to help and protect them, no matter how old they are. Unfortunately, the ability to step back and assess the situation takes a backseat to the urge to fall into crisis mode. You may pay rent, utilities, medical fees, treatment costs, or attorney's fees, regardless of your financial status. However, before you try to protect or fix their alcohol abuse or addiction, consider reaching out to others.
Feelings of guilt, shame, or embarrassment are normal. So is the fear that you may be the reason your child has an alcohol addiction. Before you take the entire blame for your child's harmful behaviors, try talking with others who know and understand what you are going through. Find your local Al-Anon chapter.
What Is an Alcohol Addiction?
Over 95,000 people die every year because of alcohol addiction. In the United States, alcohol is used more than any other drug by those over the age of 12. As a result, alcohol use disorder is the prevalent substance use disorder in the country.
Alcohol addiction doesn't occur overnight. Most people with an alcohol addiction begin as moderate drinkers. They may have a drink or two during the times they consume alcohol. Those with an alcohol addiction progressively increase the amount and frequency of alcohol they drink over time. Once your child has reached the point of alcohol consumption where they don't have control over their use and are at risk of short-term and long-term harmful consequences, their use meets the criteria of alcohol addiction. Some of the detrimental effects are:
Certain types of cancer, such as liver cancer or breast cancer
Injuries like car accidents, falls, or drowning
An increased risk of violence from sources like sexual assault, suicide, or domestic violence
Increased risky behaviors, like unprotected sex or sex with multiple people
Mental health disorders, such as depression or anxiety
Memory issues
Heart, liver, or digestive issues
Before you assume responsibility for your child's alcohol use disorder, remember that you can't stop your child from drinking. The person with alcohol addiction is responsible for their behavior, and they are the only ones who can stop drinking.
What Are the Signs of an Alcohol Addiction?
Alcohol use affects all those who are around a person with alcohol addiction. When a person is diagnosed with alcohol addiction, they meet two or more of the following criteria:
Consuming alcohol in more significant amounts or for a longer time than intended
Struggling with the inability to reduce their drinking even when they try
Spending excessive time getting, drinking, and recuperating from alcohol
Experiencing cravings
Showing a lack of interest in maintaining social, work, or family obligations
The signs listed above are a few of the symptoms, but there are more. You can reach out to an addiction therapist or attend an Al-Anon meeting to determine if your child has an alcohol use disorder.
What Is Al-Anon?
Al-Anon is a support program for anyone whose life is affected by a loved one's drinking. The program encourages those who attend meetings to share their experiences while using the principles of Al-Anon to help them cope. If your child has an alcohol use disorder, you can attend Al-Anon meetings to bring about positive change to your situation, even if your child doesn't admit to or face their addiction.
Al-Anon's history dates to at least 1939. Some people whose loved ones attended Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings began to go with them. As the families and friends participated in the discussions, they began to talk about how their loved one's addiction affected their lives. Over time, the friends and family members who attended AA meetings started to schedule meetings focused on their needs.
Al-Anon doesn't have a religious affiliation. Instead, members are welcome to explore what brings them comfort. For example, some may find inner peace when they are outdoors, practicing yoga, or cooking. The goal of Al-Anon is not to promote one way in which a person can cope with their loved one's alcohol addiction. Your inner peace or power is yours to define.
Understanding Al-Anon
When you decide to go to an Al-Anon meeting, you may do so because you feel hopeless, depressed, or want to find a positive way to change your life. However, you may have questions or are hesitant to attend a meeting.
Maybe you don't know if you're ready to go to a meeting. Sometimes, parents are consumed by trying to cope with their child's alcohol addiction, and they overlook how finding positive support is beneficial to their mental and physical health. Alternatively, maybe you aren't sure you want to interact with others physically. You may not feel comfortable going to an in-person meeting, but you can attend a meeting via Zoom.
When you attend a meeting, you aren't obligated to become a member of that group because there are a variety of meetings and ways to observe them you can pick or choose according to your schedule. You have the power to decide what's right for you.
Finding support to help you cope with the effects of a loved one's drinking on your life is essential to maintaining your physical and mental well-being. You may think you are helping your loved one when you protect, cover up, or clean up the results of their addiction, but you're not. Instead, you're creating a cycle of crisis and response that damages your life and theirs. When you are ready to change your behaviors, you can seek help by going to an Al-Anon meeting. The people who attend Al-Anon meetings share experiences similar to your experiences. If you don't know if you're ready to go to a meeting or join a group, don't worry. At Monte Cristo Recovery, we believe Al-Anon is a positive way to help you understand your child's alcohol addiction. We hope you find the support you need to face the challenges of a child's alcohol use. To learn more about Al-Anon, call (714) 824-9896.